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Dog property laws

    If I like it, it's mine.

    If it's in my mouth, it's mine.

    If I can take it from you, it's mine.

    If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

    If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

    If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

    If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

    If I saw it first, it's mine.

    If you are playing with something and you put it down, it

        automatically become mine.

    If it's broken, it's yours.


Things dogs must try to remember

    The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

    I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying

        under the coffe table.

    I will not roll my toys behind the sofa.

    I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering

            the house.

    I will not eat the cat's food, before or after they eat it.

    I will not throw up in the car.

    I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in

        the backyard after processing.

    The newspaper is not a cookie jar.

    I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

    I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red

        ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

    When in the car, I will not insist on havig the window

            rolled down when it's raining outside.

    I will not steal my dad's underwear when he's in bathroom.

    My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

    I will not bite the officer's hand when he reachs in for

         mom's driver's license and car registration.


Things we can learn from a dog

    Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

    When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

    When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience.

    Let other know when they've invaded your territory.

    Run, romp and play daily.

    Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

    Be loyal.

    Never pretend to be something you're not.

    If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

    When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close

        by and nuzzle them gently.

    Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

    Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

    On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

    When you are happy, dance around and wag you entire body.



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